WRITING GUIDE · A WORKED EXAMPLE
A day at the museum.
From plan to revision.
One story, from a plan to a first draft and revision. Explore one step at a time.
Connect the events.
Build a storyline.
ONE STORY, THREE VIEWS · AN ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLE
One step at a time.
Shape the whole story.
A Day at the Museum
Gather ideas for each paragraph before you start writing.
Saturday · science museum · Mum
I lost sight of Mum.
- crowded room
- looked at a rocket
- turned around
I asked a guide for help.
- information desk
- Mum’s jacket
- an announcement
We found each other.
- Mum came over
- I waved
- held her hand
Relieved · stay together next time
FIRST DRAFT · BUILDING ON THE PLAN
A Day at the Museum
On Saturday, I went to the science museum with Mum. I wanted to see the rocket.
The room was crowded. I looked at the rocket. I turned around and could not see Mum. I was scared.
I went to the information desk. I told a guide about Mum’s jacket. The guide made an announcement.
Mum came over. I waved to her. I held her hand.
I felt relieved. Next time, I would stay close to Mum.
REVISION · MAKING THE MEANING CLEARER
A Day at the Museum
On Saturday, Mum and I visited the science museum. I could not wait to see the rocket.
The room was crowded, but I stopped to look at the tall rocket. When I turned around, Mum was no longer beside me. I stood on tiptoe and searched the room, but I could not find her.
I walked to the information desk and asked a guide for help. “Mum is wearing a red jacket,” I explained. The guide made an announcement and asked me to wait beside the desk.
A few minutes later, Mum hurried towards us. I waved and reached for her hand. I told her how the guide had helped me.
I felt relieved to be with Mum again. The rocket was exciting, but finding each other was the most important part of our day. Next time, we would explore the museum together.
An illustrative teaching example created by Protostar, rather than an actual student’s work.
Make the details useful.
Give each change a purpose.
I told a guide about Mum’s jacket.
↓“Mum is wearing a red jacket,” I explained.
How can I try this with my own story?
Start with the setting, problem, action, result and reflection. Then ask: Do the events connect? Do the details help the reader? Does the ending connect back to the experience?