英文写作 · 完整教学示例

博物馆的一天。
从写作计划到修订稿。

同一个故事,从整理想法、完成初稿,到有目的地修改。一步一步看看文章怎样成形。

在笔记本上书写的双手

把事件连起来,
形成故事主线。

观看火箭参观
与妈妈走散遇到问题
寻求帮助,再次团聚团聚

同一个故事,三个写作阶段 · 教学示例

一步一步,
写出完整的故事。

个人经历叙事完整故事计划

A Day at the Museum

动笔前,先整理每一段要写的内容。

开头 · 交代背景

Saturday · science museum · Mum

正文一 · 遇到问题

I lost sight of Mum.

  • crowded room
  • looked at a rocket
  • turned around
正文二 · 采取行动

I asked a guide for help.

  • information desk
  • Mum’s jacket
  • an announcement
正文三 · 事情结果

We found each other.

  • Mum came over
  • I waved
  • held her hand
结尾 · 回顾感受

Relieved · stay together next time

初稿 · 按计划展开故事

A Day at the Museum

开头

On Saturday, I went to the science museum with Mum. I wanted to see the rocket.

正文一

The room was crowded. I looked at the rocket. I turned around and could not see Mum. I was scared.

正文二

I went to the information desk. I told a guide about Mum’s jacket. The guide made an announcement.

正文三

Mum came over. I waved to her. I held her hand.

结尾

I felt relieved. Next time, I would stay close to Mum.

修订稿 · 让意思更清楚

A Day at the Museum

开头

On Saturday, Mum and I visited the science museum. I could not wait to see the rocket.

正文一

The room was crowded, but I stopped to look at the tall rocket. When I turned around, Mum was no longer beside me. I stood on tiptoe and searched the room, but I could not find her.

正文二

I walked to the information desk and asked a guide for help. “Mum is wearing a red jacket,” I explained. The guide made an announcement and asked me to wait beside the desk.

正文三

A few minutes later, Mum hurried towards us. I waved and reached for her hand. I told her how the guide had helped me.

结尾

I felt relieved to be with Mum again. The rocket was exciting, but finding each other was the most important part of our day. Next time, we would explore the museum together.

本示例由 Protostar 为讲解教学方法而编写,并非真实学生作品。

补充有用的细节,
让每一处修改都有作用。

补充一个有用的细节

I told a guide about Mum’s jacket.

“Mum is wearing a red jacket,” I explained.

怎样把这个方法用在自己的故事里?

先整理背景、问题、行动、结果和感受。再检查:事件之间是否连贯?细节能否帮助读者理解?结尾是否回应这次经历?

把自己的经历,写成有主线的故事。