英文写作 · 完整教学示例
博物馆的一天。
从写作计划到修订稿。
同一个故事,从整理想法、完成初稿,到有目的地修改。一步一步看看文章怎样成形。

把事件连起来,
形成故事主线。
同一个故事,三个写作阶段 · 教学示例
一步一步,
写出完整的故事。
A Day at the Museum
动笔前,先整理每一段要写的内容。
Saturday · science museum · Mum
I lost sight of Mum.
- crowded room
- looked at a rocket
- turned around
I asked a guide for help.
- information desk
- Mum’s jacket
- an announcement
We found each other.
- Mum came over
- I waved
- held her hand
Relieved · stay together next time
初稿 · 按计划展开故事
A Day at the Museum
On Saturday, I went to the science museum with Mum. I wanted to see the rocket.
The room was crowded. I looked at the rocket. I turned around and could not see Mum. I was scared.
I went to the information desk. I told a guide about Mum’s jacket. The guide made an announcement.
Mum came over. I waved to her. I held her hand.
I felt relieved. Next time, I would stay close to Mum.
修订稿 · 让意思更清楚
A Day at the Museum
On Saturday, Mum and I visited the science museum. I could not wait to see the rocket.
The room was crowded, but I stopped to look at the tall rocket. When I turned around, Mum was no longer beside me. I stood on tiptoe and searched the room, but I could not find her.
I walked to the information desk and asked a guide for help. “Mum is wearing a red jacket,” I explained. The guide made an announcement and asked me to wait beside the desk.
A few minutes later, Mum hurried towards us. I waved and reached for her hand. I told her how the guide had helped me.
I felt relieved to be with Mum again. The rocket was exciting, but finding each other was the most important part of our day. Next time, we would explore the museum together.
本示例由 Protostar 为讲解教学方法而编写,并非真实学生作品。
补充有用的细节,
让每一处修改都有作用。
I told a guide about Mum’s jacket.
↓“Mum is wearing a red jacket,” I explained.
怎样把这个方法用在自己的故事里?
先整理背景、问题、行动、结果和感受。再检查:事件之间是否连贯?细节能否帮助读者理解?结尾是否回应这次经历?